Man like Donald Trump and Warren Buffet may become top boss and leader that are admired all over the world. Their books, biography, comments and statements are remembered by thousand of people in the world. As women, I really want to be like them.
As a women and boss, sometimes we are stuck with others opinion on us. Some said that we are too soft, when the other said we are too strength to our subordinates. Have you ever felt that you are being underestimated, while you know exactly that your abilities are higher than them? Have you ever felt that they think women are not meant to be in office? They sometimes ignore your ideas or just pretend not to hear you when you talk. I was. Sometimes, I blame all the mistakes to them.
Until I realize that it’s not all their faults. It’s our attitude and styles that are not match with their style in office. When we are intending to care to them, they think that we are acting too close and some might think that we have something that we want behind it. When we have intention to tell them what to do in order to help them, they think that we are acting bitchy and bossy in the office.
It is not because our intentions are wrong but it more towards how we act influence their reactions. Do you know sometimes, when man is in the middle of their trouble and problems, they tend to ‘hide’ in their own ‘hole’ and do not want others to disturb them. In this time, as a leader, we do not understand, and as our female instinct works, we are tend to go after them, force them to talk about it, hoping that we can help them But do you know that this is not right for them?
Some times, when we thinks we can help them to tell them what should they do, we clearly tell them step by step what to do. Then I find that this is not productive in delegating works for men. Men feel underestimate when we tell them exactly what we wants by step by step. Why don’t we try a better ways to delegates’ jobs to them, by telling them what are the end results that we want. This will help them to grow and thinks on how to do it by their own creativity, and when they finished it, they will have a kind of self esteem. Moreover, we might surprise by their creativity in doing things that sometimes we never thinks about.
Next, being in the extreme side of the curve (too soft or too strength) may also not helping us in communicating to them. You need to balance it. I know you might be confused, how do I called balance in this situation? You just need to be honest to your-self. Be transparent. Most of us are acting in front of our subordinates in order to be accepted. We are too soft, because we want others to like us, to be friends with us. But when you are acting like this, people have no respects to you as leader. They think it is easy to make fun of you.
The other hand, when we are acting too strength, in order to make them follow our instructions (the right way to say this is to force them to do so) they will only respect your position, not you in person. They will hit you in your back anytime they capable of.
Therefore, start to balance your working life by being honest to yourself, try to do the best in your work, have a really good intention to others, and proof your ability by delivering the results. By time goes by, I believe, thee will brings you respect, promotions, and thumbs up from others.
Written by Christine N
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